1
00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:03,420
Oh, I can't wait for the Valentine's Day
groove next week.

2
00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:08,020
Well, Turtle Dove, when it comes to you,
every day is Valentine's Day. Oh, that

3
00:00:08,020 --> 00:00:10,400
is so romantic.

4
00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:12,120
And how would you know?

5
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:17,360
Look, if it weren't for your Playboy
subscription, you wouldn't have a woman.

6
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:21,420
For me?

7
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:27,280
Thinking of you, your secret admirer.

8
00:00:27,540 --> 00:00:28,820
Oh, that's so sweet.

9
00:00:29,450 --> 00:00:31,530
But why did you sign it, your secret
admirer?

10
00:00:31,930 --> 00:00:33,530
Uh, that's a secret.

11
00:00:33,890 --> 00:00:34,890
Oh.

12
00:00:36,230 --> 00:00:37,290
Hey, y 'all.

13
00:00:37,990 --> 00:00:39,390
Oh, your nails are beautiful.

14
00:00:39,690 --> 00:00:42,090
Yeah, my secret admirer sent them to me.

15
00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:48,470
Hey, Professor Ogilvy. Miss Parker, I
need to speak with you. Of course I'll

16
00:00:48,470 --> 00:00:49,570
your date on V -Day.

17
00:00:50,090 --> 00:00:51,550
That would make it D -Day.

18
00:00:52,810 --> 00:00:54,710
Now, you've gone too far this time.

19
00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:57,030
I'm driving on Sunset.

20
00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:01,800
and I see a billboard with your face
plastered on it, asking me to be your

21
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:06,700
valentine. Then you humiliate me with
that insane singing telegram in front of

22
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:07,700
my whole class.

23
00:01:08,180 --> 00:01:09,180
Don't worry, boo.

24
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,680
There's more coming.

25
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,260
crazy self to me.

26
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,860
Yeah, I'm just tripping. Gotta be.

27
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,380
Oh, Professor, you are so crazy.

28
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,120
Mama, what are you doing?

29
00:02:06,780 --> 00:02:07,780
Yes, baby.

30
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,539
Now, can't you see Mama's on a date?

31
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,000
Kids.

32
00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:18,060
I'm telling you, she's gone off the deep
end.

33
00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:20,200
Please, she lives in the deep end.

34
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:23,420
No, this is serious. She's dating dolls
now.

35
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:24,680
What?

36
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,090
Time for a good old -fashioned
intervention.

37
00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:30,270
Is that anything like a beat down?

38
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:35,610
No. It's when you confront her with her
problem and suggest she gets help.

39
00:02:35,830 --> 00:02:37,030
And then we beat her down.

40
00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:40,050
Kim, just get Nikki out of here.

41
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,340
Now, I need to be prepared for when my
boo pops the question.

42
00:03:04,660 --> 00:03:07,940
And it's going to be which psych award
should they put you in, A or B?

43
00:03:10,260 --> 00:03:11,760
Mama, you need help.

44
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:16,080
I don't need any help. Yes, you do.

45
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:22,720
You know, Nikki, if you did, the Student
Union offers an unhealthy love support

46
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:23,720
group.

47
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,520
Not that your love is unhealthy.

48
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,280
Anyway, it's called the LSL group.

49
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:35,810
stands for lopsided lovers and they um
they meet twice a week at seven trying

50
00:03:35,810 --> 00:03:42,150
find them on the rebound now huh oh is
that so wrong why

51
00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:46,450
don't you just go and check it out yeah
just go one time and we won't bug you

52
00:03:46,450 --> 00:03:51,550
about it anymore i'll even go with you
yeah fine i'll go just once to get y

53
00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:56,610
off my back great but i'm telling you
right now it's a waste of my time

54
00:03:56,610 --> 00:03:57,610
i

55
00:03:59,660 --> 00:04:03,140
Now, if you'll excuse me, my boo want to
spend some quiet time with me.

56
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:13,240
I told you, I don't have any problems.

57
00:04:13,780 --> 00:04:18,480
My man loves me. You don't have a man.
You have an overgrown kin doll.

58
00:04:20,339 --> 00:04:23,760
Well, I'd like to welcome everyone to
Lopsided Lovers.

59
00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:27,360
For those of us who just don't get it.

60
00:04:32,650 --> 00:04:36,730
We all know that Valentine's Day is the
hardest time of the year for us. Well,

61
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:43,270
along with birthdays, Christmas,
Thanksgiving, Friday nights.

62
00:04:45,670 --> 00:04:49,590
Well, I think you get my point. So let's
be extra careful out there.

63
00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:52,810
Yeah. Now, would anyone like to speak?

64
00:04:55,070 --> 00:04:56,070
Hi,

65
00:04:56,370 --> 00:04:58,150
I'm Mia. I'm a lopsided lover.

66
00:04:58,530 --> 00:04:59,530
Hi, Mia.

67
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,860
I've been a lopsided lover for two
months now.

68
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:06,100
Before LSL, I used to stalk my man.

69
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,240
I mean, the man that I wanted to be my
man.

70
00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,560
I had a relapse a couple weeks ago.

71
00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:16,320
But I returned my man.

72
00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:19,380
I mean, the man that I wanted to be my
man.

73
00:05:21,260 --> 00:05:22,260
Unharmed.

74
00:05:24,380 --> 00:05:25,700
Thank you, Mia.

75
00:05:26,340 --> 00:05:28,380
You are an inspiration to us all.

76
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,320
I'd like to welcome our new members.

77
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,260
Oh, oh, she's the one with the problem.
I don't have a man.

78
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,640
As a matter of fact, neither does she.

79
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,580
Hi.

80
00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:49,700
I'm Nicky.

81
00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:51,020
Hi, Nicky.

82
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:53,420
Now,

83
00:05:55,940 --> 00:06:01,040
the only reason I'm here is because my
daughter and my friends have lost their

84
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,040
minds.

85
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:07,520
problems like you all have. I'm not a
lopsided loser like y 'all.

86
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,120
Well,

87
00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:14,480
since you don't have a problem, you
won't mind answering a few questions.

88
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,400
Sure. Does this person ever call you?

89
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:23,420
He did the other day. He called on her
in his class.

90
00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:27,180
Has he ever asked you out on a date?

91
00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:32,540
Has he ever given you a gift?

92
00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:35,890
That he knew of?

93
00:06:36,670 --> 00:06:39,210
Yes, he did. I think you know the answer
to that.

94
00:06:39,850 --> 00:06:42,410
Well, does he treat you like a queen?

95
00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:46,010
Has he ever said that he can't live
without you?

96
00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:50,770
Well, what was the last thing he said to
you?

97
00:06:51,530 --> 00:06:53,070
Wasn't it, get away from me, you psycho?

98
00:06:57,370 --> 00:06:58,370
Nikki?

99
00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:10,930
My name is Nikki, and I'm a lopsided
lover.

100
00:07:11,950 --> 00:07:18,890
Oh, man,

101
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,230
you're really going all out for Kim.

102
00:07:20,930 --> 00:07:22,050
Flowers, gifts, candy.

103
00:07:22,470 --> 00:07:23,810
You're starting to make your brother
look bad.

104
00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:25,770
I got a confession.

105
00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:29,350
I haven't been sending Kim all of those
gifts.

106
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:32,050
I mean, not that I wouldn't if I wasn't
so short on cash.

107
00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:34,750
Oh, you better come clean. You're going
to get caught.

108
00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:36,070
I ain't, T.

109
00:07:36,210 --> 00:07:37,330
How can I get caught?

110
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,580
They're from a secret admirer.

111
00:07:39,980 --> 00:07:40,980
Secret.

112
00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:45,120
All righty then. Play on, player.

113
00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:48,320
Well done yourself, honey bunny.

114
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:50,760
I love my new bracelet.

115
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,880
I knew silver was your favorite.

116
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,520
Silver? It's gold.

117
00:07:56,220 --> 00:07:57,220
Gotcha.

118
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,300
I've got to be strong.

119
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,100
I've got to be strong.

120
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:54,800
Man is back.

121
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:58,180
Sherelle, why are you still in here? I
thought you were in Paris.

122
00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:00,860
Well, I'm in town showcasing one of my
acts.

123
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,220
But you know I had to come check up on
my girl.

124
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,540
Oh, I see you got all the stuff I sent
you.

125
00:09:08,140 --> 00:09:09,140
You sent?

126
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:10,920
My boyfriend Aaron sent me this stuff.

127
00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:13,280
Oh, you got a boyfriend now?

128
00:09:13,740 --> 00:09:16,040
Well, after our divorce, I had to move
on.

129
00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:20,160
Then why are you wearing those fly
Italian boots that I sent you?

130
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:21,480
What?

131
00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:25,270
Well, I'm not confused.

132
00:09:26,110 --> 00:09:27,710
My heart still belongs to you.

133
00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:30,010
I've missed you.

134
00:09:31,210 --> 00:09:32,250
I've missed your eye.

135
00:09:36,290 --> 00:09:37,470
Weren't they blue when I left?

136
00:09:40,290 --> 00:09:41,290
Look,

137
00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:43,690
things are different now.

138
00:09:43,930 --> 00:09:45,550
I told you I have a boyfriend.

139
00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:47,590
When you and I had, it's over.

140
00:09:51,870 --> 00:09:52,749
Oh, really?

141
00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:53,750
Yeah.

142
00:09:55,069 --> 00:10:00,410
Does your boyfriend hold you like this?

143
00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:08,150
Does he kiss your neck like this?

144
00:10:09,850 --> 00:10:14,850
Does he kiss your lips?

145
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:35,039
Who's this guy?

146
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,920
What guy? Oh, oh, that's just Jarell, my
old ex -husband. You hungry?

147
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:41,760
Ex -husband?

148
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,280
You never told me anything about an ex
-husband.

149
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,680
What, you got any kids I should know
about?

150
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,160
I'll let you two work this out.

151
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:54,020
Aaron, a kiss didn't mean anything.

152
00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:55,800
I guess neither does our relationship.

153
00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:00,900
Oh, no. I haven't seen Jarell in a year.
He just showed up and started nibbling

154
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:01,900
on my neck.

155
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,180
Okay, I guess that makes it okay.

156
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:07,300
No, I'm not saying that. It just
happened.

157
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,840
Unless he tripped and fell on your face.

158
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,680
Stuff like that don't just happen.

159
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:15,460
Well, neither does taking credit for
gifts you didn't send.

160
00:11:19,580 --> 00:11:20,580
Who told you?

161
00:11:20,940 --> 00:11:21,940
Terrell.

162
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,080
Not only is he a homewrecker, he's a
tattletale.

163
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:31,690
Well, you can take back this promise
ring that I gave myself to remind me of

164
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:32,690
you.

165
00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:35,950
Because I don't want to be with anyone
who can't keep their promises.

166
00:12:04,479 --> 00:12:07,380
Nikki? I'm at the professor's door and
I'm about to go in. Stop.

167
00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:12,020
Take a couple of deep breaths and step
away from the door.

168
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:20,540
Lou, I'm going in.

169
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,440
Nikki, listen to me.

170
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,220
Remember step number three.

171
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,860
Just walk away from the situation.

172
00:12:27,420 --> 00:12:30,240
Walk as long as it takes for you to get
over the impulse.

173
00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:32,780
All right.

174
00:12:33,390 --> 00:12:34,390
I can do that

175
00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:17,110
I had to clear my head.

176
00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:19,110
But you've been gone for 12 hours.

177
00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:20,770
Well, I got a big head.

178
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:23,790
What a long face, buddy.

179
00:13:24,710 --> 00:13:25,810
Jarrell's back in town.

180
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:28,210
What's that little peanut head boy doing
back?

181
00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:29,890
He's not promoting his group.

182
00:13:31,070 --> 00:13:32,750
Oh, and Aaron caught up kissing.

183
00:13:33,410 --> 00:13:35,450
Kim, you didn't. I did.

184
00:13:36,310 --> 00:13:37,850
Mama, I don't know what I was thinking.

185
00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:42,730
It's just when Jarrell kissed me, all
these old feelings came rushing back.

186
00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:44,530
I don't know what to do.

187
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,820
Well, baby, there's only one thing to
do.

188
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:49,100
A threesome.

189
00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:52,900
Girl, no.

190
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,320
Just let your heart decide, baby.

191
00:13:57,700 --> 00:13:59,060
But my heart is confused.

192
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,940
True love is never confusing.

193
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:05,160
You'll know when it's real.

194
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:06,980
You're right, Mama.

195
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:08,700
Thank you.

196
00:14:09,220 --> 00:14:11,160
Anytime, Puddin'. Anytime.

197
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:23,100
Well, I better get ready for my meeting.
I'll see you later, baby.

198
00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:24,420
All right.

199
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:33,880
Hey.

200
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,420
I was wondering if you could come over
so we could talk.

201
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:39,420
Yeah.

202
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,940
Hi. My name is Nikki.

203
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:48,480
Hi, Nikki.

204
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,430
I had a great talk today with my
daughter about love.

205
00:14:52,790 --> 00:14:53,790
Aww.

206
00:14:54,650 --> 00:14:56,890
I told her to follow her heart.

207
00:14:57,410 --> 00:15:01,230
And from now on, I think that's what we
should all do.

208
00:15:05,470 --> 00:15:10,390
Stanley Ogilvie is and always will be
the man of my dreams.

209
00:15:11,170 --> 00:15:14,770
Even if I don't get him right now, I
will never give up.

210
00:15:15,090 --> 00:15:15,989
Preach, Nikki.

211
00:15:15,990 --> 00:15:16,990
Amen.

212
00:15:17,010 --> 00:15:18,830
My grandmother...

213
00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:23,970
She never gave up. And she had two
restraining orders against her. But she

214
00:15:23,970 --> 00:15:25,070
got her man.

215
00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:29,810
And I'm gonna get mine.

216
00:15:34,070 --> 00:15:34,969
Nikki's right.

217
00:15:34,970 --> 00:15:37,170
We have been selling ourselves short.

218
00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:39,430
Especially you.

219
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,670
Nia, you should never give up.

220
00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:44,790
I mean, go after that man.

221
00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:47,530
Who wouldn't want to be with somebody as
wonderful?

222
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:49,580
And beautiful as you are. Really?

223
00:15:50,780 --> 00:15:51,780
Yeah, girl.

224
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,680
We're not crazy. Just crazy in love.

225
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,060
Nikki, please. Hush.

226
00:15:58,640 --> 00:15:59,640
Get back.

227
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:06,440
Nikki, I want all of you to attend the
Valentine's Day dance here at the

228
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:11,220
Union. And if you can't bring the love
of your life, then bring the blow -up

229
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,220
doll of your life.

230
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:32,800
Thanks for inviting me over.

231
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,280
Thank you for coming.

232
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,220
Oh, thank you.

233
00:16:40,380 --> 00:16:46,300
Listen, Jarell, I just want to let you
know that I made a mistake by kissing

234
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:47,300
back.

235
00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:50,180
Yeah, yeah, I know.

236
00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:53,020
You know, I never should have kissed you
in the first place.

237
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:58,780
It's just, I feel like the love that we
had will always be the same between us.

238
00:17:00,970 --> 00:17:02,930
You will always have a special place in
my heart.

239
00:17:03,870 --> 00:17:06,210
You will always be my first sex husband.

240
00:17:08,230 --> 00:17:09,890
But Aaron's my man now.

241
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:13,130
Well, I guess that's my cue to bounce,
huh?

242
00:17:20,369 --> 00:17:21,369
Bye, snickerdoodle.

243
00:17:57,550 --> 00:17:58,570
You haven't talked to Aaron?

244
00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:02,330
No. I think we're broken up for real.

245
00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:06,690
Men make me sick. I don't know why we
bother when we know that every single

246
00:18:06,690 --> 00:18:07,870
time... Hey, don't worry.

247
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,770
You can always get a blow -up doll.

248
00:18:17,590 --> 00:18:18,590
Hey, boo.

249
00:18:20,530 --> 00:18:22,050
I see you didn't bring a date.

250
00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:27,680
No, I figured why put myself or another
innocent woman through all the... Pain

251
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:28,680
and suffering.

252
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,100
Of course I'll save you the last dance.

253
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:37,720
Want to dance?

254
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:40,500
Yeah.

255
00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:48,640
Jarrell found me and explained
everything that happened.

256
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,040
I'm sorry. I heard you love muffins.

257
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,000
I'm sorry. I took credit for all that
stuff.

258
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,700
You know, if I had the money, I'd buy
you the whole world.

259
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,960
Then where would everybody else live?

260
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,400
Good boy.

261
00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:04,560
I love you, Snuggle Buck. Oh, I love
you, my little cough truck.

262
00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:20,980
Hey, Boo.

263
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,000
I saved this dance for you.

264
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,340
Get away from me, you psycho.

265
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,220
That's music to my ears.

266
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:39,520
Everyone, grab your sweethearts and
enjoy the sounds of Ericta recording

267
00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:41,200
Kenny Lattimore.

268
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:45,620
This

269
00:19:45,620 --> 00:19:52,500
song goes

270
00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:53,920
out to all the lovers in the house.

271
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,200
Thank you.

272
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:00,820
Please, she slipped.

273
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:02,660
Really?

274
00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:05,380
When my boo pops the question.